Death’s Lessons

Death remains one of the greatest truths of Life. Not really THE truth, but one of them, relevant till it is conquered, necessary because through the passage of death Life continues, renews itself.

Witnessing the death of a loved one teaches so much. That one moment ends up giving so much as it takes away so much. The moment of earthly goodbye becomes a moment of lifelong blessing. That moment changes something deep inside, even awakens something as a deep sense of peace begins to emerge in the midst of the pain. A faint remembrance of the eternal truth becomes a source of calm strength.

Death is not the opposite of Life. Death is the opposite of Birth. Life goes on. Only Form changes. All this and more which is mere book learning, becomes real and living only in that moment of death.

Months and years continue to pass. For many months after my mother’s death in 2013, she came to me often. At night when I would close my eyes. In the wee hours of the morning when I wasn’t yet fully awake but not asleep either. Her face, her smile, her eyes, her voice. Yes, her voice.

Her voice from the time when it carried and expressed all the different shades and nuances of a mother’s loving heart. The voice of a woman strong and independent, the voice of a mother full of love, concern and caring.

And yes, also her voice from the last year of her life as my mother -- when it had begun to grow faint, feeble and weak. The voice of a mother who had to slowly accept the hard fact that her daughters will now be mothering her. The voice of a woman who had been the constant pillar of strength for so many in her life but had now become physically dependent on others for her most basic needs.

Through her life she tried to teach me how to take care of others. Don’t know to what extent I really learned. Through her death she prepared me for my father’s death too, which came 6 years later in 2019. This time the letting go came much easier; in place of sadness a quiet prayerful feeling occupied the heart for days and weeks and months afterwards.

After her departure, he was still around. So in a way she was too. It was with his death that I learned that while they are not around, they have also not really gone away. They always remain, here, with me, in me and around me. But there is no clinging, because death also teaches how to let go. And in that is hidden the truer freedom which comes with surrender.

These musings on Death are inspired by the following conversation:

Disciple: Why has death been associated with sorrow ever since the beginning?

The Mother: Human ignorance and egoism are the cause of sorrow. But this sorrow has also played its part in the evolution of humanity.

Disciple: What part has sorrow played in the evolution of humanity?

The Mother: Sorrow, desire, suffering, ambition and every other similar reaction in the feelings and sensations have all contributed to make consciousness emerge from the inconscience and to awaken this consciousness to the will for progress. (CWM, 10: 294-295)

- Dr Beloo Mehra (India)