Connection and Attachment … A careful approach in the journey of Self-Development

With an observant view of close associates, in personal and professional life journey, on the way each one of us lives our lives, and our response pattern to external stimuli and situation, I came to the realization that most of us begin with connecting and then develop a tendency to get “attached”, in case connection in a relationship is sustained over a period of time for a specific cause. Attachment often leads to stress and strained relationships as it binds emotionally.

In Human relationships, connection gets converted into attachment at subtle physical or vital level when one of the objects gets converted into subject due to affinity / preferences we develop when connection follows a pattern of repetition. This realisation worked very well with me to have a more objective view of relationships for improved mind body balance. On introspection, it looks that our relationships are akin to an object and subject connected with an energy flowing between the two. As electrical energy flows to a gadget till the gadget is connected through a connector to the source of energy. The same analogy is to be applied in our relationships as in each relationship, one is a receiver and the other is a receiver to facilitate flow of emotional energy. The important thing to understand is that while the energy flow at gross level stops when we get disconnected, but at the subtle physical or vital level the flow continues and this leads to the illusion of attachment.

During the course of my interactions with close family members and also professional colleagues, attachment caused a sense of clinginess to a close family member or a situation or an object, and this led to reactive mode of behaviour leading to emotional trauma. It happened when my parents left their moral body a few years back, as old memories of time spent together caused challenges to move ahead in life and living in the present. I faced this kind of situation in executing daily routine tasks, may be as simple as the route to be followed for morning walks or even watching TV shows or social media groups.

I tried to decipher the fine line of difference between attachment and connection by reading scriptures, thoughts of Sri Aurobindo and The Mother and listening to talks of spiritual leaders. A key learning has been that we need to be careful in ensuring that we attach with aspirational role models as this brings improvement in daily living and helps progress in the self-development journey.

- Pranav Srivastava (India)