Let Go and Call Her
When you dig and dig some more to find out why something bothers you so much, it hurts.
When you discover, or at least you think you have discovered, the real reason why something bothers you so much, it hurts.
When you figure out that the real reason why something bothers you so much has to do with your egoistic preference, it hurts.
When you understand that your egoistic preference is nothing but your unwillingness to accept what is happening in the present, it hurts.
When you accept that you are unwilling to accept the present moment because you fail to surrender to the deeper wisdom that is guiding your life’s journey through all the veils of ignorance, it hurts.
When you realize that you are unable to surrender to the deeper wisdom because you lack faith and trust in the Divine’s Plan for you, it hurts.
It hurts because you now see clearly the working of the ego which kept you deluded as to how much faith and trust you had in the Divine and Its Working.
It hurts because this is not the first time you had this experience. Because you know you could have, you should have learnt your lesson by now. Because you know there is no other lesson more important if you want to make even tiniest progress.
It hurts because you know that there is a better way to go through all that you are going through at the moment.Because deep inside you know the better way. Because you know you are not trying hard enough to follow that better way.
The only way it will begin to hurt less would be when you slowly build upon that faith that is faltering, when you slowly work on the trust which once gave you strength.
The only way it will begin to hurt less would be when you rekindle that flame of aspiration which alone will make you fit to receive the Grace and the Strength you need to truly surrender.
The only way it will begin to hurt less would be when you make an effort.
Because nothing worthwhile comes free. Certainly developing the right attitude in life comes only when you pay upfront — when you give up your pride, your egoistic mental/vital preference, your know-it-all ignorance, your will that life should go your way. Such a surrender isn’t easy. But nothing that is worth doing is ever easy, isn’t that so?
So while the process of getting rid of all that comes in the way of surrendering may hurt, know that the hurt is only there on the surface ego-self. Deep inside there is always the real you, which is being slowly prepared and is fully protected by the soothing presence of the Mother’s Grace and Love, which alone will keep you safe along the path.
Also know that what is outside is a projection of what is inside. So, as long as the inner ‘you’ has not acquired all the equanimity, calmness, trust and faith that are necessary for a true surrender, the outer ‘you’ will require repeated lessons, regular training and recurring life-situations to actually practice what you thought you knew in theory.
So, stop feeling hurt! Stop feeling angry. Get rid of the self-pity. And most importantly — and it is worth repeating — let go of the hurt. Get up and light that fire once again, the fire of aspiration. Aspire for that Will-force you need to keep the flame of aspiration burning high and strong, pray for the Grace and Protection to keep you safe as you walk through the net-practice sessions of Life. And learn, once more, to let go. And then let go some more. And some more.
And above all, do not forget to call Her. Because She alone is the Light you need to let go of the darkness — darkness of anger, of self-pity, of feeling hurt.
“When you feel unhappy like that, it means that you have a progress to make. You can say that we always need to progress, it is true. But at times our nature gives its consent to the needed change and then everything goes smoothly, even happily. On the contrary sometimes the part that has to progress refuses to move and clings to its old habits through inertia, ignorance, attachment or desire. Then, under the pressure of the perfecting force, the struggle starts translating itself into unhappiness or revolt or both together.
“The only remedy is to keep quiet, look within oneself honestly to find out what is wrong and set to work courageously to put it right.
“The Divine Consciousness will always be there to help you if your endeavour is sincere; and the more sincere your endeavour the more the Divine Consciousness will help and assist you.” (The Mother, CWM 14: 246)
- Beloo Mehra (India)
It is a long statement of a short reality. "When you feel unhappy like that, it means that you have a progress to make. You can say that we always need to progress, it is true."
ReplyDeleteYes it very true for an individual, there he or she has aspire and surrender to the Divine and the Divine always takes care. But what about the bothering problems that plague social life? There the whole society has to fall in in line and aspire and work in tandem collectively to make whole society free of nuisance. You can't say it is none of an individual's headache! There the Bhagavadgita is the only Path to take. No political hypocrisy will do. This issue follows us ever since the history of Ramayana and Mahabharata times.
" Let Go and Call Her" is truly right way to come out of egoistic life lived by impulsive reactive actions at surface consciousness level. Accumulation of impressions of past Karmas in thoughts and feelings need be removed by spiritual practices and conscious choice of response to external stimuli and this could be a slow process requiring perseverance to receive Mother's Grace . This is most relevant and High priority self -development area of focus for all of us of each age group specially youngsters who are overly impacted social media channels.
ReplyDeleteWhat spiritual practices?
DeleteThank you - this will resonate with everyone. The only thing I would suggest is that the fire of aspiration is always there - it does not need rekindling or set aflame or re-lighting; instead it needs reacknowledging and recognising. This is the Grace that is given to us - the presence of The Mother in us.
ReplyDeleteThe 'hurt' is like physical pain due to a physical reason and the way to tackle it is to abolish the root cause. Here, you have truly identified the root cause of the emotional/mental/vital hurt - the ego. Thank you
Thank you for expressing so beautifully!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful piece, Beloo, and obviously lived experience. Thank you so much for sharing, dear sister on the path.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
ReplyDeleteI find that aspiration is always there, but sincerity needs more work. Resistance is also a major issue. If aspiration is from the soul, then there should be no diminishing of it. Resistance though, is often masked by ego defense mechanism, so it's hard to see where they come from. But sincerity helps and willingness to know myself as I am with all my imperfections. Non-judgmental and detached self-observation also helps.
What an amazing blog!
ReplyDeleteI resonated with all aspects of it, all the pain points, and the deep inner comfort that comes from remembering the Mother.
“When you accept that you are unwilling to accept the present moment because you fail to surrender to the deeper wisdom that is guiding your life’s journey through all the veils of ignorance, it hurts.”
I love this line in particular, because it epitomises my calling to process work. Feeling pain/pleasure in process work labs and examining its reality in the “Here and Now” is a constant test of my own sincerity.
Process work as a practice is the staff that breaks down my subtle spiritual ego in the “here and now” in reality “as is”. I know this spiritual ego to be far more insidious and destructive than the surface ego. As Sri Aurobindo says, it is easy to humbug in a cave.
I am currently in a phase of life where I am trying to work with the reality that Mother is showing me about myself and the world daily: the Magnificent, the terrible and the mundane.
In the past, I have run away from seeing this reality, and I am only able to bear the pain and ecstasy now, because of the Mother’s Grace. And when I fail, which is often, I still continue because of her Love.
Your blog has inspired me to continue in this endeavour of seeing and accepting the reality as is.
Thank you.
Absolutely beautiful and true. The fact is that whenever I sit to read The Mother's work, may be a book or a prayer or may be just a quote...I have experienced multiple times that it would exactly fit to the particular day's event, circumstance or even an inner thought.
ReplyDeleteInitially, I used to think that I am over imaginative....I had even tried reading random pages from any book, even then... whatever I read turned out / turns out to be a message exclusively for me.
After that I have gained such confidence that whatever comes to me for reading is from the Mother.
This blog also is a message specially for me.
I am pretty sure, many more disciples of the Mother and Sri Aurobindo relate to my experiences.
Thankyou BelloJi.
Real life experience is just like a reflection filled with feelings, reactions,upsurge of momentary changes ,reverts, realisation and comparisons rerooting to the beginning of pain ,joy and rethinking where the hurts began ,how to uproot,how bear with the innate reaction,how to erase such issues are very well expressed .A true story which happens to all.Thats is why we have a secure shelter in Sri Aurobindo and the Mother.Realising the aspirations leads and balms the soul is a virtue.A true exposition by Belloo ji .kudos
ReplyDelete