Three Important Tips to Constantly Focus on Self-development

Self-Development is an important goal for any conscious human being in the world. Normally, by Google search, self-development could mean skill enhancement or better employability. But if we go a bit deeper, self-development is more than just an improved capacity or skill for a better material life. Self-Development, in a deeper way, is a call to change,  improve and progress, and move towards self-perfection. For after all, that is a goal worthy of life on earth. 
 
The reason for self-development stems from our deep need for underlying search for something higher and truer. Being conscious beings, inwardly and secretly we work towards this impulse towards perfection, truth and bliss as Sri Aurobindo says in 'The Life Divine'. 
 

Helpful Tips

Some tips or pointers worth keeping in mind when one takes up the work  of self-development would be:
 

Setting a goal

This is an important step for any growth. An aim, a goal is needed. Be it for change of habit, or to reach a stage in your career, or in life. Setting an aim or goal setting can be done by writing it down in your journal or paper. These can be short term or long term Self-developing aims.
 

Constant Effort 

Constant Effort in a gentle, compassionate way is another prerequisite and something to remember. Change of habits, especially ingrained ones will take some time but with sincere effort will change. The difference between kindness and laziness can be thin so it will depend on your sincerity of effort for any goals you have set for improvement. Patience is a virtue and needed in case the goal is long term or very high. So, to keep making an effort is a life long journey. 
 

Awareness, Self-Awareness

This is another important quality for any improvement in human life, to become more conscious. Be it a simple skill learning or change of our own nature. For e.g. if one has a tendency for anger, the first way to even address it would be to recognise this anger, accept the need for change and then proceed to set a goal to change it. Reflection on our daily practice does wonders in its effect for next time. That can be something as simple as a piano lesson or a behavioural change to be more calm.   
 
So, goal setting, constant progress and being self-aware could be considered as useful tools to use for your self-development goals.

Divya Kapoor
Auroville, India

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Keywords: self-development, development, growth, personality, personal growth, awareness, self-awareness, constant effort, self-change, goal setting, practical tips, self-perfection, progress, developmental aims, behavioural change

Comments

  1. Anonymous22 September 2022 at 14:12

    (Don Salmon here - for some reason on my iPad I'm not able to comment using my Google account, apologies)

    Thank you, Divya, for this very clear account of self-development.

    I'm wondering if you or someone else here. may be able to help me make clear a distinction regarding the nature of the effort required for this kind of development. What I'm going to write may sound "advanced,' but it's been my observation from the very beginning (aeons ago, back in the age of the dinosaur, you know, back in the 1970s), the following has been essential for understanding and carrying out "right effort."

    To the extent I have ANY sense of Presence or Silence (and I've found more and more over the years that when using simple enough language, virtually any person - consciously "yogic" or not can get a glimpse of this), before making ANY effort, to recognize that in some way is essential for effort to bear fruit.

    I'll use one very specific example. Psychiatrist Dan Siegel, working with actress Goldie Hawn, has established a particular kind of mindfulness practice that is now being used by thousands of children in dozens of countries around the planet. He speaks particularly of an exercise he calls "the wheel of awareness."

    Here's an example of self development with a 5 year old child using the wheel of awareness. The children are led every morning through the following exercise (this is my version of it)

    1. Notice what you are seeing.....hearing.....sensing.... smelling....tasting......

    2. Notice you are aware of what you're seeing (hearing, etc). whatever you see is on the edge of the wheel of your awareness, and your awareness is at the center, the "hub" of the wheel. As you notice what you see, travel along the spoke of the wheel from the edge back to the center of your awareness, and notice how what you see is connected to the center of your awareness.

    3. This continues with all that is sensed, all impulses, emotions, feelings, thoughts, images, etc

    4. Whenever there is ANYTHING that one wishes to change, the very first thing taught is to travel back to the center of awareness.

    So in this specific example, Jonny (I'm making up the name) had a tendency to get angry easily and bullied other children. He found in doing the wheel of awareness exercise he had moments where he could let go of his bullying impulses, but they were fleeting. He went to his teacher and asked for help, because he didn't want to be a bully any more.

    The teachers taught him how, whenever he became conscious of an impulses to strike or yell at another child, he could take a moment to "return to your hub."

    After about one month, he no longer bullied the other children.

    In a particularly lovely addendum to this story, one of the children who was BEING bullied by him had been moved to a different kindergarten class. This child - let's call him "Billy" - had also been learning about the wheel of awareness as well as some information about the brain - the prefrontal cortex (the physical correlate to the thinking mind or buddhi) and amygdala (one of the physical correlates to the fear of the lower vital along with the "control" of the mental-vital).

    The teachers went to Billy after he had been in the other Kindergarten section and asked if he was doing ok, if he was still upset with Jonny.

    Billy said, "Oh no, I understand. Jonny had not yet developed his prefrontal cortex, so he was not able to control the impulses of his amygdala."

    Two 5 year old children!

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous25 September 2022 at 15:29

      Monica again ,

      Thank you Don for your observation about the need for silence or presence as a prerequisite to any kind of Self Development. Also, thank you for sharing the method “ wheel of Awareness “. It is useful to know that it can be applied on even A 5 year old. Being a mother of 2 children aged 11 and 7, I am also aware that Children these days are increasingly more Self Aware, yet at the same time it is also easy for them to lose their sense of inner silence and presence amidst the noisy world of fast technology and easy gratification.

      Delete
  2. Manoj23 September 2022 at 11:46

    Good ,informative

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous25 September 2022 at 15:19

    This is Monica. I am also unable to use my google account to sign in and write.

    Thank you Divya for the 3 simple steps to Self Development. As majority of us are only aware of the mind, body and emotions, the 3 tips mentioned are very useful and easily applicable for all. It is also a fact that almost everyone feels a need for Self development and growth and this is the sign of the changing energies in and around us, as Sri Aurobindo says , the pressure of the Supramental on Earth.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Don30 September 2022 at 01:49

    Glad to know, Monica,you found the wheel of awareness valuable. And I agree about the sign of changing energies in and around us.

    Divya, it would be interesting to do a follow up simply on goal setting. I have found working with others that people have limited understanding how what helps and what obstacles there are to goal setting.

    one thing I have noticed personally and which much research backs up is people almost universally fail to plan for failure. This is not a matter of negative thinking. In fact, you could simply replace "failure" with "obstacles." To give a concrete example, I decide to take the Mother's advice and consult the best research on nutrition, in order to improve my diet. I decide specifically to stop eating so many doughnuts.

    Every morning I go to work and the office administrator has bought 3 boxes of my favorite doughnuts. If I am not aware of the effect this has on me, I'm likely to give in to eating extra. On the other hand, I can plan to have something healthy to drink, something filling, or perhaps just avoid the snack room! The same kind of planning can be helpful in terms of virtually any goal.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anuradha Agrawal30 September 2022 at 09:34

    Thanks Divya for the 3 tips, and thanks Don for the Wheel of Awareness exercise and the example. Children are amazing - much wiser than we give them credit for. These days I am working with 18-20 year olds. I am going to try the WoA exercise with them next time. I tried it for myself just now and found that it connects one to the centre of the being effortlessly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don30 September 2022 at 20:01

      That's interesting, Anuradha. I have done numerous presentations of Dan Siegel's work and the wheel of awareness to yoga groups (teacher training), mindfulness groups, etc. I personally have NOT liked the WoA as a "practice" but more as a helpful guide to understanding the fundamental "shift" of consciousness from the outer "stuff" of mind/life/body to the Consciousness within - AND integrating them (that's the main purpose of the WoA - that integration; isn't that yet another wonderful sign of the evolution of consciousness.

      But I have also found, when I've presented it, some people love DOING the WoA exercise. Anuradha, after you've tried it a bit, it would be wonderful to see at least a brief post from you describing what it's like. And especially to hear the response of the 18-20 year olds.

      Jan and I are contemplating moving to a nearby retirement community in the next few years. I've been invited by a friend who leads Christian contemplative prayer groups (with a mischievous touch of Taoism, Buddhism, Mary Oliver's poetry and whatever else strikes her fancy) to do some mindfulness presentations. If I get to this soon enough, I'd be delighted to write up what it's like with 70-100 year olds!

      Delete
  6. Pranav Srivastava4 November 2022 at 13:43

    Very useful tips ...self-development does require considerable focus on Inner development ... Meditation and Reflections and reading of scriptures do help with Daily Practice ...sometimes allotted time slots preferably in morning hours do help ...

    ReplyDelete

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